Before you start swinging, you probably wonder if it’s going to change your relationship with your lover. You’re used to your relationship being the way it is; you don’t want that to change. On the other hand, you really want to try swinging. How big of a change will it be? Will it actually change things?
In Short, It Will
You’ve just started having sex with people besides your lover. Of course your relationship will change when you start swinging. You’ve changed a fundamental fact about it, that of monogamy, and as a result, your relationship is surely going to change. You or your lover might have more insecurity and you might never go back to swinging again. If you don’t, then it is okay, but you’re missing out on a lot of fun. You need to start talking more before you give up on it. Talk over how the sex was, what you both thought about during and after sex, and if you want to do it again or not. If you’re jealous or you feel insecure, grow up and say it. After you’ve talked about all that, you still don’t want to go back to swinging, say it. If your lover disagrees, then it’s time to talk more and make him/her understand.
But It Doesn’t Have to Be For the Worse
Just because your relationship is different as a result of swinging, doesn’t mean it has to be worse. You could easily turn it into a good thing. Spend a lot of time with your lover. Talk a lot. Send random texts, like you did at the beginning of your relationship. Buy small gifts. Let the change, swinging has caused be a good one, one that gives your relationship a new blood and draws you closer to your lover. Don’t stop talking once you’ve had that conversation about swinging. Talk about your day at work, go through every little detail that’s been bothering you (but don’t dominate the conversation; that makes you look like a self-centered jerk). Listen when your lover talks. Encourage them to tell you more, but don’t be demanding or pushy about it.
If You Keep Swinging
Hopefully, if it’s a good influence on your relationship, you’ll decide to keep swinging. Swinging also has the benefits of adding some spice to your sex life; you can take advantage of new things you learn from or try with your sex partners and bring them into the bedroom with your lover. If you and your lover have different sexual appetites, you both don’t have to swing; it’s possible for one of you to pick someone up and the other to just watch. That way, you’re still both there, the one with the greater sexual appetite or interest is actually having sex with someone outside the relationship and is getting what they want, and hopefully it keeps adding to your relationship.