Swinging and Your Relationship
When you first start swinging, you might be worried about its effect on your relationship. You’re probably pretty confident that it’s solid if you’re considering shaking it up like this, but that can change. You might be worried that your partner is going to find someone better than you, whatever “better” means. You might be worried that your relationship just can’t survive even consensual non-monogamy, even when both of you are there for the whole time. What if one of you takes it as freedom to cheat? That’s probably something else worrying you. After all, you have no experience with this. You want to try it, but you’re not sure how you’ll feel.
The Actual Effects
In a situation with consensual non-monogamy, whether that’s polyamory, swinging, or something else, you need to be sure to keep communication lines open. You and your partner should always be honest with one another about everything. It’s not something just to be said, you need to mean it. If one of you wants a break from swinging or even change their mind about it, that’s okay. You should focus on your partner and your relationship ahead of everything else. As long as you can do that, you’ll be okay.
There have been studies on swinging and its effects on relationships. In one study, ninety percent of couples who didn’t originally rate their relationships as “very happy” said that their relationship improved. Fifty percent of couples said that their relationships got better. Nearly seventy percent of swingers say they’re not jealous, but you’re not alone if you are; nearly a quarter said that, while swinging, they feel some jealousy. That doesn’t conflict with the happiness, since the jealousy is only while swinging, not at all the time. Only six percent said they have a lot of trouble controlling jealousy while swinging.
If you’re not comfortable with swinging then don’t do it, but don’t worry that it will end relationship. Most swingers think their relationships are actually stronger, since swinging means that neither of partner has an affair and they’re less likely to lie to each other. If you’re a man worried about your wife or girlfriend, don’t be; swinging is empowering to women. They make a lot of the decisions and can end things at any time. Marriage counselors also say that swinging can be good. Don’t worry about STDs; most well-conducted studies find that swingers have either the same STD rate as the rest of the population or even lower.
The bottom line is that, for the vast majority of swingers, swinging makes their relationships better. Both partners get something out of it, and the relationship is strengthened by stronger communication, greater honesty, and the thrill of sex outside a relationship without cheating being involved. As long as both partners feel comfortable setting limits and know they can cut swinging off at any time, swinging can definitely be a good thing.