When most of us started going to swing parties, we used to behave in the best possible way. As good as it could be, we would be politely asking things like, “Do you want to swap with my girlfriend and me?” Over time, we learned the kind of manners expected in the swinger community. When we started comparing notes, we found that our experiences were remarkably similar.
You Shouldn’t Have to Be Asked to Use a Condom
At every party we’ve been to, condom use has been assumed. At most, it’s been mandatory. The hosts provide bowls of condoms and there’s no excuse for not using it. If someone has a latex allergy, they don’t get to do anything penetrative. The whole thing is designed to limit the spread of STDs in the swinger community, not to mention keep a handle on the number of babies born to couples where the man isn’t the biological father. If you try for something penetrative without a condom, all you get is someone canceling the whole swap and you’ll get thrown out of the party. At the worst, the community may even shun you.
Stay (Mostly) Sober
No one makes good decisions about sex when they’re intoxicated. They have sex that they shouldn’t, they push boundaries, they don’t use condoms and they try things without asking. Even if a party allows you to bring your own booze, you should limit how much you have. If you want to use something besides booze to get in the mood, do it at home, not at the party. If you get busted, you’ll be the one going to jail for snorting coke at a swinger party.
Bring Your Own Lube
Condoms are an assumed part of hosting a party; they’re supplied freely through the house, most of the time. They’re relatively cheap, and they’re easy to get. However, lube is expensive and ideally, there’s one bottle of lube per couple. This stuff isn’t cheap. If you assume that lube will be provided by the host and finally you end up asking if you can borrow some from someone, you’re going to look like an ass.
Don’t Take Liberties
We’ve seen people pull some ballsy things at parties, and they’ve almost always been sober. There are people who touch you inappropriately without asking, but we’re talking hands down shirts or pants, biting almost hard enough to break skin without asking. We can’t believe this need to be said, but before you do anything sexual with people; ask if it’s okay with them, even if you’ve played with them before. What was okay then might not be okay now. So, ask before you touch.
The rules are pretty basic for anyone raised by humans rather than wolves. We can’t believe how many people fail to obey them. Don’t be one of those jerks.