I’ve been swinging for a long time and as part of the community I have gotten to see that there are a lot of misconceptions about swingers. From the idea that we’re all creepy old men to the idea that we’ll screw anything with a pulse, some of them are more common than others. A lot of these misconceptions keep people away from swinging. I’ve pulled out the common 5 misconceptions that keep people away from swinging. I’m not out to change your mind, but if you’ve thought any of the following, here’s the real story.
1. We’re all creepy old men and young stupid women
It’s true that swingers come in all ages. However, we’re not all old men and impressionable girls. In fact, we frown on impressionable girls getting into the scene too early. It’s okay to want to try the waters out, but if you’re easily pressured then stay away. The most common age group that I’ve seen at parties is those people in their late twenties through their thirties. These people have been in committed relationships for a long time and are looking to spice it up and make other personal connections.
2. We’re all sex crazed
Yes, we all like sex and that’s why we are swingers. But to us, it’s the same as any other hobby that someone picks up. If you go play basketball every weekend and enjoy a few games a week with someone else, no one is going to insinuate that you’re unable to think about anything else. Sex is our hobby, it’s the way that we connect with others and enjoy ourselves. We are all capable of keeping it in our pants and do not hit on everyone. Respect is one of the most important rules of being a swinger.
3. We all cheat
Cheaters never prosper in swinging. Once someone is called out for being a cheater they are usually blacklisted. When you’re in a very compromising position with someone else you have to trust them. Not only that, but most of us are in long term relationships that are very important to us. Swinging is a hobby that we enjoy together and it is to bring us closer. Most of us would never even dream of lying or cheating.
4. We are all bisexual
I am straight as an arrow and so are a lot of people who swing. Though, it is true that there are a lot of us who experiment and then start enjoying the company of the same sex but many people aren’t out for that sort of thing. Just because you’re having sex with another man in the room doesn’t make you bisexual. Most swinger events are swaps where people trade partners evenly. This means that you party with another dude’s girlfriend and he parties with yours.
5. We don’t have standards
Liking sex isn’t the same thing as screwing everyone. I know that I have a definite type and so does my girlfriend. When we’re on a first date with a new couple it’s important to find out if we’re all on the same page. Sometimes it doesn’t work out. The community itself also can close ranks on people who are rude, cheaters, or disrespectful.