In the information age, it’s hard to keep a lifestyle to yourself. Swingers are slowly becoming more visible in today’s culture and many of us think that this exposure is a good thing. However, it can still be a problem if a friend or coworker finds out that your ‘lock and key necklace’ has a double meaning. What do you do when someone who you want to remain in a good relationship with, finds out that you’re a swinger? The first thing you need to do is relax and then consider the following to smooth the issue over.
How Did They Find Out?
First and foremost, think about how you know the person who found you out. Did they saw a photo of you tagged on Facebook? Were they randomly clicking around the internet and saw your picture on a swinger’s website? Maybe they overheard you talking about the last party with someone. However they found out, it is going to change the way by which you approach the topic. You won’t know unless they ask out flat about you being a swinger. Sometimes the way that they found out has already colored their view.
Acknowledge that yes, it was you and relax. You haven’t done anything illegal. Thank them for coming to you instead of just talking around your circle of friends or the office. Then you should move on to considering how to explain yourself if you feel like the person deserves an explanation.
How Do You Know Each Other?
This will also dictate how much you tell someone, if you tell them anything at all. Saying ″Yes, I’m a swinger″ to a casual acquaintance or a coworker may not be good. Some people are not comfortable giving many details about their private lives out to others. Just because you are a swinger doesn’t change that. However, if this is a best friend or someone that you are extremely close to, you may feel like you owe them a better explanation.
Ask if They Have Questions
This is the most important step to get the problem hammered out. Being open to answering questions means that you don’t have anything to hide and that you really want to help your friend or co-worker understand. They may also be curious because they were trying to figure out if the lifestyle would work for them. The only way that they can be sure of anything is if they ask. The key is to make you open and friendly. Offer to meet up somewhere to answer their questions or have an email chat if the venue they confront you, isn’t suited to this kind of discussion.
Some people don’t need to know about your life. The details of what you do in your free time should not matter to anyone else and they really have no business probing you for details. That being said, when you want to actually explain yourself, you are going to have to get ready for some strange questions and possibly a strained few weeks between you and whoever found you out. Whatever you do, try to be honest, lying will only make things worse if they find out.