What is Soft Swinging?
Soft swinging is how many swinger couples start out. It usually means having sex with your partner, but in the same room as another couple, or having sexual contact with another couple within clearly-defined limits. These limits may include sticking to things like massage, kissing, and touching or may extend up to oral sex and hand jobs. Basically it can be anything excluding penetration.
How to Get Started
Swinging is much easier these days than it was before. While you had to know someone back in the fifties before you could get involved in swinging; now you just do a quick search online and find swinger clubs or swinger parties. When you and your partner get start to swinging, you might not want to jump straight to “anything goes, as long as there’s a condom”. Many couples might not ever reach that point. When you get to the club, you and your partner could find a place to sit together and watch around while making out. This can easily lead to another couple coming over and asking if you want to do something.
If No One Comes to You
If you have to make the approach, it can be a little nerve-wracking, especially if it’s your first time. You and your partner need to agree on which other couple to approach; you might have to compromise, since you probably won’t see a couple that’s ideal for each of you. After all, you’ll not be able to find your favorite actors or models in a swinger club. Once you’ve agreed on a couple to approach, you and your partner should go over. Ask if they’ve been there before. If they’re also new, it might be awkward, since neither of you has done any of this before, but you might have similar limits to start with. If they’re experienced then it will be better, as they have already been in a situation where you are and probably know the limits that first timers want. It might take time for you to move on to something more, and that’s fine. They should understand.
Taking the Initiative
One of you has to make the first move, and why can’t it be you? Go ahead and touch the partner you’ll be with. Caress her cheek to start with or touch his arm. This might be enough to signal your partner that they too can make a move. This is when you can move on to a kiss. Start slow and don’t just move on to tongue and groping right off. Think about how you’d do it in a new relationship. It’s sort of what you’re doing now. You probably won’t end up making a lot of dates with the first couple you try things with, but it’s possible, and you’re entering the swinger community anyway. After that first kiss, when your partner has started touching the person they’ll be with, try touching more. Run your hands through her hair and down her back. From there, take your time getting to your agreed-upon limits. You’re there for fun, not a quickie.