When You’re Swinging, What Do You Really Want?
We know that everyone is different. Different things attract different people. Someone might be attracted to that soft-looking woman you see at the diner; others only go for total bombshells. Still others base everything on personality. When you’re swinging, which of these is most important?
You might be living in a huge city with an active swinging community where you can have your choice of couples. Even then, you’re probably not going to find a couple where each half attracts you and your partner perfectly. Face it, very few people run into their total ideal at a party. You might have to compromise on looks there. But when you’re not at a party, when you’re looking for a couple to regularly go out with and swap what should you look for?
The Looks Angle
The thing about whatever pings our visual radar is that, it can be variable. Good thing, since we probably won’t find our exact ideals every time. With looks, you have an instant turn-on. You can be ready to go in seconds if she has the right smile or eyes, never mind other assets. If you’re lucky, your sex partner out of a couple, you usually go with won’t be hard on the eyes. You’ll want to find someone who has at least a few things you want, most likely, but she isn’t likely to be a Victoria’s Secret model.
The Personality Angle
We’ve heard it over and over since we were kids: personality is more important than looks, it’s more important to have a good personality, etc. This probably doesn’t apply much at parties; you’re not likely to sit there and have a long conversation. But if you’re looking for a couple to swing with outside clubs and parties, it gets more important, especially if you’re going to go out together. You want someone you can talk to, someone who can be your friend. You’re not likely to fall in love with her; in fact, we really hope you don’t, considering that you already have a relationship and so does she. However, you want to have a mental connection, rather than just checking her out. Looks alone is good for a party, but if she turns out to be a horrible racist or something, you probably won’t see her and her partner.
The Bottom Line: Which is More Important?
When it comes down to it, at a party, you should go for looks. You should go for someone who can turn you on with a look. But when you’re going to see them outside parties, especially if it’s going to be a regular thing, then start screening for personality. Think about it this way: What will usually get you further? She has blue eyes or the fact that she can discuss things about work, entertainment and international issues? Choose yourself!