If you and your partner have decided to start attending swinging parties you may be cautious about how they will react the first time they see you with someone else. You may also want to consider how you will act. While people think they are ready for this type of step, they sometimes get into the situation only to find that they or their partner is jealous of the sexual acts that happen. Being jealous at a swingers party can be harmful to you, your relationship and also to other people at the party.
Yes, jealousy can happen even if you have discussed making this move and inviting others into your sex life with your partner. You surely don’t want your partner to feel jealous as it can make for an uncomfortable evening, and you and your partner may be asked to leave. Furthermore, it can also cause issues with other couples at the party. If your partner becomes jealous or if you find yourself becoming jealous, walk away from the situation and cool yourself down. You can also pull your partner aside and discuss the jealousy rationally and calmly.
One way to avoid the jealousy altogether is to set clearly defined rules and goals. For instance, if your partner is uncomfortable with you sleeping with blondes because your ex is a blonde, then stay away from blondes at the party. If you don’t want her to perform oral sex on other men, make that a rule. The only way to get over any issues you have is to make sure that your partner is aware about how you feel, and for you to be aware about how she feels. Respect and trust go a long way in curbing jealousy. Additionally, have a safe word. If your partner begins to feel uncomfortable about the situation she may need to take a break and just reconnect with you. That’s ok and perfectly normal, so have a safe word that indicates she wants some time to be with you.
Some jealousy may not be bad. If your partner is jealous, you can use this as a platform to discuss your feelings later. Do not make her feel bad for her jealousy. This only shows that she cares about you enough to get jealous, so listen to her and discuss her feelings openly and rationally. You may need to make new rules to attend such parties in the future, or you may find that your relationship is not ready for this type of interaction with other couples.
Jealousy at a swinger’s party can be embarrassing, hurtful and may even result in you not being asked back to the parties. Communicate with your partner openly before attending the party; know what you both want and what you will not accept. Respect each other’s feelings. Understand that these sex parties can make anyone jealous, but if you keep cool and are willing to talk rationally about your feelings you can build a stronger relationship.