Non-Monogamy and You
You’re probably new to non-monogamy. It’s something people have done in every relationship since they started dating, at least not with their partner’s full awareness and consent. Non-monogamy is when a couple allows for sex or more outside the romantic relationship of two people. There are many forms of this including polyamory and swinging. People often worry that this can threaten their relationship. In fact, it generally brings them closer together and strengthens their relationship. This occurs for a variety of reasons, including more communications, greater honesty, and less cheating.
One of the foundations of any non-monogamous relationship is increased communication compared to the average monogamous couple. Each partner needs to be comfortable talking about what they do outside the relationship to keep their partner informed. They also need to feel like they can talk about any concerns or worries that they have. Communication between non-monogamous partners is absolutely key to keeping the relationship solid and alive; when it’s done well; couples talk about everything, fight less, and are more open with each other.
When a relationship involves having sex with other people or dating others, it can be easy for either partner to feel threatened. This is why a non-monogamous relationship requires a devotion to honesty. Each partner not only needs to feel as though they ought to mention everyone that they are attracted to for more than a fleeting second, but also need to feel safe articulating any jealousy, insecurity or worry. Not only does this help keep communication lines clear, but it also lets the other partner know when they need to do more to support their partner and reassure them. Naturally, this can make the relationship stronger.
Less Likelihood of Cheating
In a relationship that allows for non-monogamy, whether emotional or solely physical, cheating is less likely to happen. In such relationships, partners are allowed to have emotional intimacy with others without their partner feeling threatened that they’ll leave. They’re also allowed to have physical intimacy. In swinging, the physical intimacy usually involves the presence or at least immediate consent of their partner. Most of the time, both partners are having sex with someone outside their relationship at the same time. While there are some who cheat, but we think that’s more for the thrill of not getting caught than for the actual sex and intimacy. This also means that each partner has fewer reasons to feel jealous as their relationship is less likely than a monogamous one to fall apart because of cheating.
The Bottom Line
In a non-monogamous relationship, people by definition have physical and/or emotional intimacy with people besides their partners. This intimacy can be with the partner’s immediate consent or through a blanket rule. Either way, their relationship is stronger for their increased communications, greater honesty, and the lowered likelihood of cheating. It’s not hard to see the reasons that such relationships are attractive to so many people.