You and your partner have been debating swinging for a while now, but you don’t know exactly what you’re getting into. The best thing that you can do is ask the experts, people who have been swinging for decades and know the ins and outs of the community. We sat down with one couple, Rebecca and Jason, who have been swinging for 20 years now to get the full Monty on what lessons they learned from swinging.
1) Messes Happen
″When you’re dealing with sex you’re going to be dealing with people. Sometimes people leak a bit.″ Becca explained. ″It’s probably one of the things that no one expects when they’re starting out in their twenties. You see porn and you see things on TV and just forget that people have all kinds of gunk inside them.″ Bottom line is that when this sort of thing happens, the best response is not to worry about it. If you’re the one who had some accidental leakage, make sure you clean it up properly. Like they say, shit happens.
2) Learn to Laugh About Things
″One time I had a lady end up getting a cramp in her hip about twenty minutes into a party. She was mortified at the time, but the rest of us just waved it off. Some positions just don’t work for everyone. The next time she saw us she pulled out some WD-40 and asked for a repeat.″ Jason recalled. The woman’s good sense of humor was a huge feather in her cap and she’s still swinging in the same circle today. ″Mistakes happen, if you can’t laugh them off then you’re taking yourself too seriously. Swinging is about the fun and personal connections. It includes cramps and falling off the bed.″
3) Walk it Off
A bad performance can wound any man’s pride. Sometimes your head is just not in the game. If you do have a bad evening or make a faux pas, the best thing to do is walk it off. Give yourself some time to cool down and remember that even if a mistake is a huge deal to you, it may not be to everyone else. If someone brings your mistake or issues, up later, then you should just be able to shrug it off. You’re human, after all.
4) Respect is important
″If you can’t respect the people you swing with you have no business swinging.″ Jason and Becca agreed. ″Don’t break up relationships and don’t flip the script on anyone.” What they meant was that if you feel like one partner is being pressured, the best thing to do is back out. You also don’t want to insert yourself into someone else’s relationship. A worse offense, according to both of them is to change the interaction in the middle. ″If we arrange a vanilla session, don’t switch it up to throwing people around and calling the women bitches.″ Becca stressed. ″We have discussions before the dates for a reason.″ Jason added.
5)Your Beauty isn’t Everyone’s
″One thing that new swingers are always shocked about is how diverse the community really is when you walk into a room and it’s not a bunch of people who are movie star gorgeous, don’t be shocked. Swingers come in all shapes, sizes, creeds, colors, and yes, ages.″ Becca smiled. ″So, the bottom line is that swinging is not you walking into a room full of supermodels and banging as many as you can. If you’re expecting that, then you’re going to be really disappointed and probably disappointing.