Convincing Your Partner To Swing When They’re On The Fence: 3 Things To Say That Will Tilt The Scale
When Your Partner is Unsure
You’ve probably talked about the idea of swinging a few times. Maybe you’ve looked at a few sites, read some forums, even posted to one asking how to get started. You want to try it as you like the idea of seeing her with another guy while you’re with another woman and it turns you on. But she’s not that sure. Maybe she’s worried that it means you want to end your relationship or that it’s going to signal the end; maybe she’s worried about the possibility of STDs or pregnancy; maybe she has a completely different concern. Read on for our advice to convince her to take the plunge.
“We Can Set Limits”
You don’t have to jump straight into penetrative sex. There’s no rule that says you have to do it, especially not at all in your first time swinging. Plenty of couples start with soft swinging, which is something like having sex in the same room as another couple or making out with the other couple, possibly going as far as oral sex but still avoiding penetrative sex. You can do that for as long as you’re comfortable. Reassure your partner about that. Post to a forum asking about it and show her some of the replies—the good ones, not the creepy ones, but she probably knows there are gross people all over the Internet and not to pay attention to them.
“It’s Not Like you’re Cheating”
Make a point of this one. Tell her that, if you both agree to it, neither of you is cheating. It’s just exploring more in your relationship. Point out that you’ll both be there and you’ll choose a couple together, at least for the first few times, and that means that everything will to be done with the other’s knowledge. She doesn’t need to worry about breaking up over it; if she doesn’t want to go back, you won’t, but no matter what, you aren’t going to be cheating on each other.
“It Could Be Good for Our Relationship”
Try whipping out the statistics: sixty percent of all couples say it makes their relationships better. Half of all “very happy” couples say it makes their relationship even much better. Ninety percent of couples who aren’t “very happy” before they start swinging say it makes their relationships better. Play it up: “Baby, we’re so happy now, and we could be even happier.” If you’ve been together for a long time and the spark isn’t so easy to find anymore, tell her it could reinvigorate your sex life. Point out that, with new partners, it’s easy to get turned on almost instantly and be passionate right away, and you can bring that into your own sex lives.
You can go for soft swinging, then go home and have sex with each other with no one else in the room. We bet it’s going to pump up your relationship.